Give Yourself Permission ⋆ Redefine Normal with Wendy Andersen | Redefine Normal with Families with a Special Needs Child

Give Yourself Permission

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Give Yourself Permission 

 Permission to Feel

According to my favorite friend Webster: Permission means to give consent to a person of authority. Consider yourself the authority and what a relief you can start to feel. Permission to feel.

Every day is a miracle. When I found this quote the other day I paused. 14 years ago, probably around this week, I bought this sign (pictured below).

Give Yourself Permission

 I remember so much of the day. I was exhausted, scared, worried, not sleeping, hardly eating, and going to non-stop Dr. appointments after our son was released from the hospital. It was after those 36 hours that our life was turned upside down when our son was diagnosed with Tuberous Sclerosis, infantile spasms, he had tumors in his brain and heart, and, and, and. 

I was exhausted, we were exhausted, my husband and son included. When your mind goes 24 hours a day and you sleep with your ears open listening for seizures, you are in go, go, go mode. We needed a break. A break can be anything. For us, we decided to shut off the computers, put our phones on silent and just BE. We needed a time of rejuvenation whatever that could be for us at this moment in our lives. Silence, napping, watching a movie, or taking a walk…whatever we wanted for a few hours is what we did. When you realize you need a break…Give yourself permission to take a break! Your body and mind are telling you something valuable, listen to it and agree!

 How to Love Yourself – take a break

Believe in miracles. I’m not sure what miracle I was hoping for or believing in at that time, but the sign jumped out and me and said, ‘Buy me’. It was a rare occasion in the first few weeks of diagnosis that I left him, and for a few hours, I did. My husband said, ‘Go, get out of the house and do something. Take a break.’ That was exactly what I needed. A break. Back then, I struggled to take a break. The “what ifs” or “might need to” control my thoughts. Several years later, I can say it’s easier, and I’m better at saying I need a break and building them into my life. And it’s still a challenge. 

What does it mean to give yourself permission?

Sometimes we need a sign. ‘Believe in Miracles.’ ‘Take a break.’ Whatever that sign is for you, create it. Give yourself permission. Life goes so quickly. For 14 years I’ve been believing in Miracles, and it feels just like yesterday I saw the exact sign that I needed to see.

What is it for you? What can you give yourself permission for?

Now we could not be more proud of our little boy and all the odds he has overcome.

overcome

Giving Your Best

Sometimes, to be able to give your best, you need to take a break. To give yourself permission, to hope, and to do whatever that sign is you create for yourself. 

 Give Yourself Permission to be Happy

A few weeks ago one of our girls brought this sign out to me, (picture below). Tonight I used it for myself. I don’t care that there’s a spelling error on it, I didn’t say anything about that. What I did do was praise her for realizing when she needed to take a break and be by herself. I took a page out of her book tonight. How many more times do we need me time and we don’t do it for one reason or another? We don’t need to push through things. The school email will be there tomorrow. The medication refill will happen. Oh yes, the insurance company will get called again. The clothes will get washed, trash taken out….. We could all go on and on. What we need to understand is when we need a break. Take that break and praise ourselves for doing what we need.
Breathe.
Sit in silence.
Jam out to music.
Hide in your car.
Take a bath.
Go for a walk.
Whatever you need to do. Go do it! And if you need permission from outside yourself…permission is granted.
Go take some me time!

Give Yourself Permission note by kid

You have permission to be happy.

We often hold ourselves back from experiencing genuine joy and fulfillment because we believe it’s impossible to achieve. But the truth is, happiness is within your reach, and you have the power to choose it and to redefine your normal.

You are worthy of happiness

Happiness is a choice.

It’s okay to be imperfect. I wrote a blog on how as parents, we can feel like “the monster”. But you are not “the monster”. It is okay to be imperfect, to give yourself and others grace, and to advocate for your children.

Accept where you are now. Happiness is not about achieving some future goal or state. It’s about appreciating the present moment, even if it’s not perfect. And if it is a diagnosis you are trying to accept, we understand. We speak more about our journey here. 

Allow yourself to feel your emotions.

Celebrate your successes, big and small. Take time to acknowledge your achievements, no matter how insignificant they may seem.

Surround yourself with positive people.

Do things that make you happy. It is ok to take a break!

Ask for help – it could lighten your load too! Ask or keep silent.

So today, give yourself permission to be happy. You deserve it.

 Write a few sentences about the 2 subject lines above in context to the subject of this blog post. 

It is ok to have an off day. I write more about that here. 

Wendy

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We all have our off days

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