Divide and Conquer ⋆ Redefine Normal with Wendy Andersen | Redefine Normal with Families with a Special Needs Child

 Divide and Conquer

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Divide and conquer strategy

What does divide and conquer mean?

For the longest time, I fought systems, but now we live by systems. Systems create freedom.  It takes a lot of energy mental energy to recreate systems every month on what or how “it” should happen. Whatever that may be. All around us are ways we can create systems to simplify life. Systems are a huge thing for us.

The freedom it creates is time freedom, decision freedom, and process freedom. We can rest mentally, so we don’t have to reinvent the wheel, we just follow the process. A lot of our systems bounce back and forth between both of us dividing and conquering. There are many things in life, family, and marriage, so at times, we need to divide and conquer.  We share a lot of responsibilities and it goes both ways. We have many systems in place, but there are so many more systems we could put into place. We juggle and shift responsibilities around if we need to.

Today Moms often think they need to do it all.

Is there someone else that can share the load?

How can you divide and conquer?

What is the one thing you don’t have to do or someone else can do for you?

If you can’t get something all done, pick the biggest prodigy and cut out something else. Divide up the task when life seems overwhelming.

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What is the divide and conquer approach?

Any time you get overwhelmed, there tends to be a lack of clarity. A lot of things can trigger overwhelm, and at the heart of overwhelm is the lack of clarity, not knowing all the steps in the process. If we are clear, know the lists, know the priorities, know the actions, know who we are, and know who we are working to become, then we know the next step, and we don’t become overwhelmed.

When we do feel overwhelm is setting in, step back take a breath, and ask ourselves, “What am I not clear about? Why is there overwhelm coming in? Why am I feeling this way?” this is when divide and conquer comes into play! Have that relief of clarity, knowing the next step, and move forward. That is what overwhelm does. There is a level of frustration that keeps you frozen, gives you fear, or has you running away.  

The fear and frustration can be solved through getting clarity around what’s in alignment with you and what you want to become. The number of things on your list doesn’t change, but how you interact with them is what changes. I can see them for what they are. And now you can conquer them, you see the next steps. Instead of a to-do list, it turns into steps. It does not mean you can see the whole journey, it simply means you are trusting where you are going.

What is the divide and conquer thought?

You have to keep moving unless the overwhelm comes in and stops you. That is where the divide and conquer comes in for us, to help us not let the overwhelming put a halt to forward progress. Struggle is real and we don’t want to overlook that. When we talk about divide and conquer we talk a lot about the between ourselves, but that also has to do with the sense of overwhelm you get when your entire to-do list attacks you at once. When you are able to divide that to-do list into steps, timelines, whatever it may be you can conquer it. Have grace and understanding for yourself, your spouse, and your kids. 

Divide and conquer

Divide and conquer time complexity

Divide and Conquer examples:

A recent example of this that I recently posted on Facebook is a perfect example of divide and conquer.

There’s a plan and then there is how everything actually plays out.

For example:

Sunday is the day we plan the next week. If we don’t life is even more chaotic. The plan this speicfic Sunday was for the kids to swim while my husband and I sat at the table and organized the week. (I’ll be honest, I had no desire to get into a cold pool today after rain and cooler weather!) Twenty minutes into swimming our son was done. He doesn’t like to be hot and he doesn’t like to be cold. So plans change. We had two vehicles so my husband took him home and the girls wanted to keep swimming. The schedule will get planned today, we will figure out who is doing what and where we need help. Having an autistic son sometimes means we divide and conquer so for today it’s not our plan and that’s ok! Life moves forward!

 Divide and Conquer

Divide and conquer problems

Sometimes you just have to divide and conquer. We are grateful we can do this in all areas of our lives. Our kids are in many sports, activities, homeschool groups, and visiting parents so we have to do it as a team! For example, this past weekend we wanted to visit my parents, but we had no one to stay with our dog. So, I (Wendy) took the kids, and he stayed home with the dog and did lots of cleaning. For this past weekend, that is what divide and conquer looked like. 

I am grateful to have the opportunity to divide and conquer within us two, and of course, Grandpa helps us all!

Watch our live and learn more on the subject by clicking here.


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