Day of Courage: I secretly stopped criticizing

Day of Courage: I secretly stopped criticizing

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Day of Courage: I secretly stopped criticizing

On August 28th, I participated in the 1st ever Day of Courage where participants from all around the world did something courageous, anything that took them out of their comfort zone or away from their norm. We face a fear and then share it with the world!

I thought for a long time about what I would do. In July, I did go white water rafting, which ended up being courageous for me because, at the last moment, everything inside me said not to go…I had a great time and loved every minute of it!  Some people were going skydiving, jumping off cliffs, going to visit places that had been traumatizing for them….I struggled to find something and eventually, I decided to ask for help!

Now, to those of you who know me quite well, probably know that this was a challenge, but I did it! I posted in a couple of groups what I needed for my business and got some fantastic answers!  I opened the door up for myself to ask again when I needed help!

Day of Courage: I secretly stopped criticizing

Well…this is all nice and dandy, but what I haven’t shared is the Day of Courage internal challenge I had given to myself! On the 29th I woke up and thought “It’s not very courageous of you Wendy if you don’t share what you are trying to do.”  So here it is!

My real #DayofCourage act is to not criticize my husband!

What?!?!?!  Yep, I made the choice to stop criticizing my husband for the choices he makes or the things he does and accept him for being himself!

Day of Courage: I secretly stopped criticizing

Now…I will preface this by saying

#1 I absolutely have the most supportive and loving husband around, he is amazing, and I love him dearly.  We’ve been blessed with 16 years of marriage and an incredible family! There are times when I find myself thinking or saying under my breath “That was a silly thing to do” or “Why did he do it that way” or “geez, could you just do it this way and make it easier?” And occasionally, there would be things that would come out of my mouth. As I think back now honestly, it was not helping any situation, I was talking before thinking.

How did the challenge go?

Day of Courage: I secretly stopped criticizing from the start.

For day 1 … I think I did pretty well for the 1st day!  I’ll be honest, it was challenging, the little voice occasionally wanted to come up! But here’s the thing, I’m not stopping on August 28th… I’m challenging myself to do it for a week, and then it will be another week, and another week…until ultimately, the judgment that I hear inside my head will be gone!  That’s my goal, anyway!

When I stop to think about it, there’s nothing productive about my criticizing him, and it’s not furthering our relationship with each other! However, the thought of praising what is working, discussing options, and continuing to work as a team gets me super excited!

Watch here for more on how we positively communicate and work as a team. 

"Day

As I think about our journey as special needs parents, it’s easy to criticize and get mad quite frankly. Why didn’t you do the medicine this time around, I’m always doing it.

Note: Be careful of that ‘always’ word.

Instead ask, “Could you maybe call the insurance company this time?”

We can get sucked into commenting in such manners:

“You never got to the pharmacy?!”

“Why did you fold the towels like that instead of how I do it?”

“Do you not know how to take out the trash?”

“You saw this meltdown about to happen and you did nothing?”

“All I’m asking is for you to brush their teeth?”

“Did you really put those shoes on with that shirt?”

“Just get off the phone.” …

The list could go on and on… (just to clarify…these aren’t all examples from my householdI’m coming up with a variety of things that can be said in a household.”)

When I read these examples, other ways of communication come to mind.

So many of these challenges and struggles in our lives could be handled by talking to each other… positively expressing our thoughts and desires instead of waiting for the opportunity to squash one spark.  I’m super excited about this because there is way more about this to come into future blogs!

I hadn’t told my husband what I was doing, hoping he would notice there’s “something a little different”…well, cat’s out of the bag now, but it’s all for good!

My question and challenge to you today is:

What could you do for a Day of Courage that will ultimately better your world? 

Please share and let’s start a list! To check out more on the Day of Courage go to www.thedayofcourage.com and see what the amazing Chantelle Adams’ vision is for this day!

Wendy

Day of Courage: I secretly stopped criticizing

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"The choice was crystal clear in that hospital room. My husband and I looked at each other, and we both knew that we were going to redefine normal. We were going to love our little boy totally, and we were going to navigate through our child’s special needs to the very best of our ability. We were going to find joy in caring for our child, no matter the circumstances!" > Keep Reading...
Wendy Andersen Parent of Special Needs Speaker
Hi! I’m Wendy Andersen, a parent of a special needs child and my mission is to empower other special needs parents to live JOYFULLY while caring for your special needs child!

Leave a Reply 2 comments

Shay - August 31, 2017 Reply

I love this! I’m proud of you for doing this and extending it past 1 day. I think taking the time to think about it and publicize it is really brave!

    Wendy Andersen - August 31, 2017 Reply

    Thanks Shay! I realized it wasn’t very courageous of me to keep it to myself! Loving the new little mindset shifts!

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